Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
weekend update
Well it has been another week over with! Yay for that!
This week I had no time during the week to write any posts to put up here; i started a few but just never finished any.
We took bob to another puppy party thursday which was great! He has so much fun there it is so cute to watch and once again he totally wore himself out within minutes of being there!!! It is just alot of excitment for suhc a little guy.. this week the "barkery" had a new doggie beer that they had samples of. It is made of all kinds of healthy things and is good for him unlike the human kind (and certainly there's no alchohol!). He went crazy for it... Bob will share anything with anyone; I have no doubt he'd give me his left leg if i needed it.. but when it came to sharing his beer with the other dogs, he wasn't having it.. he actually "hounded" (har har har...) the "bark-tender" for more beer more then he ever did for more treats!! It was really funny stuff; everyone was pretty entertained by it all! I will have to upload a video I took at the party later to share:) He has so many friends there it's such a fun way to spend thursday nights for all of us. the laughter just keeps going on; it's adorable.
Friday I went to a weight watchers meeting. My first ever. This was a pretty hard thing for me to come to.I cannot believe that i am there and there because i completely need to be there. I used to want to go to get down from 120 pounds. Now... well; i wont share my current wieght. Yet. lol.. maybe once this thing starts working! I am scared. I am scared it won't work; i'm scared it won't work quickly, and I'm scared that should it work I won't know where to stop. To have spent most of my life til now under a hundred pounds and instastant that I still had work to do on it;.. well this is real weird to know that i really truely need to diet for my health and that no one is going to come say "allie, you are going to need some help if you don't put some wieght on." Now they are coming to me saying "allie you need some help taking it off." who'd have thunk? I can't wait to get back to where I was quite honestly. I can tell you my goal weight is 110. I will get there. I hope.
Things with the adoption seem to be going okay. I'm trying so hard not to think about it. Which is just plain an impossible joke. I am just madly in love with the girl we are matched to right now. I really am. I am so happy to follow her lead and do what works for the baby. I am so happy that I may soon be an exhausted drained broke, PROUD and HAPPY momma! I just cannot wait.
Weather is sunny and COLD here today... very very cold. But hopefully it will warm up soon becuase I have plans with a friend outside today with our doggies;) bob has a playdate with his friend a black lab. they are just adorable together and bob would follow the big guy to the deep end of the ocean.. and he kida did last time they hung out! BOb took a plunge into the water-- something the lab could easily do... bob had never ever swam! And he didnt that day either.. he hopped... he lept like a frog (although never touched bottom thank goodness!!!) in such a wierd funny way that scared the pants off his mommy who thought she'd be going in after him!! Today we will try not to let him in the water!!! I had no worry last time that the puppy terified fo the kiddie pool would avoid the water.. who knew what an effect peer pressure could have even on dogs!
Okay; well that's the weekend update for now. I have alot more to share and say but am going to hold my tongue a bit and just focus on the highlights:)
This week I had no time during the week to write any posts to put up here; i started a few but just never finished any.
We took bob to another puppy party thursday which was great! He has so much fun there it is so cute to watch and once again he totally wore himself out within minutes of being there!!! It is just alot of excitment for suhc a little guy.. this week the "barkery" had a new doggie beer that they had samples of. It is made of all kinds of healthy things and is good for him unlike the human kind (and certainly there's no alchohol!). He went crazy for it... Bob will share anything with anyone; I have no doubt he'd give me his left leg if i needed it.. but when it came to sharing his beer with the other dogs, he wasn't having it.. he actually "hounded" (har har har...) the "bark-tender" for more beer more then he ever did for more treats!! It was really funny stuff; everyone was pretty entertained by it all! I will have to upload a video I took at the party later to share:) He has so many friends there it's such a fun way to spend thursday nights for all of us. the laughter just keeps going on; it's adorable.
Friday I went to a weight watchers meeting. My first ever. This was a pretty hard thing for me to come to.I cannot believe that i am there and there because i completely need to be there. I used to want to go to get down from 120 pounds. Now... well; i wont share my current wieght. Yet. lol.. maybe once this thing starts working! I am scared. I am scared it won't work; i'm scared it won't work quickly, and I'm scared that should it work I won't know where to stop. To have spent most of my life til now under a hundred pounds and instastant that I still had work to do on it;.. well this is real weird to know that i really truely need to diet for my health and that no one is going to come say "allie, you are going to need some help if you don't put some wieght on." Now they are coming to me saying "allie you need some help taking it off." who'd have thunk? I can't wait to get back to where I was quite honestly. I can tell you my goal weight is 110. I will get there. I hope.
Things with the adoption seem to be going okay. I'm trying so hard not to think about it. Which is just plain an impossible joke. I am just madly in love with the girl we are matched to right now. I really am. I am so happy to follow her lead and do what works for the baby. I am so happy that I may soon be an exhausted drained broke, PROUD and HAPPY momma! I just cannot wait.
Weather is sunny and COLD here today... very very cold. But hopefully it will warm up soon becuase I have plans with a friend outside today with our doggies;) bob has a playdate with his friend a black lab. they are just adorable together and bob would follow the big guy to the deep end of the ocean.. and he kida did last time they hung out! BOb took a plunge into the water-- something the lab could easily do... bob had never ever swam! And he didnt that day either.. he hopped... he lept like a frog (although never touched bottom thank goodness!!!) in such a wierd funny way that scared the pants off his mommy who thought she'd be going in after him!! Today we will try not to let him in the water!!! I had no worry last time that the puppy terified fo the kiddie pool would avoid the water.. who knew what an effect peer pressure could have even on dogs!
Okay; well that's the weekend update for now. I have alot more to share and say but am going to hold my tongue a bit and just focus on the highlights:)
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Ugh; Well i have a migraine again.
Stress? Yeah; probably the reason. I swear these things are going to kill me some day.
I just don't know what to do as far as this current situation goes. I LOVE the birthmom and the entire situation is so ideal. I really think it would be such a great set up for everyone involved and that the child will be so very lucky and so very loved. I am just so used to anything that sounds too good to be true being just that.
I think I may call her today again on my own and ask a few more questions. Not easy ones either unfortunatly. Nothing good ever comes easy though.. that much i'm certain on.
In other news. the back yard is a sheet of ice here!! It is the weirdest thing!!! I got to the top of our hill and then had to slide down! it was really silly!!!! It is fun to watch bob slide around out there. Matt rode his bike around yesterday for bob to chase him and it was just the funniest thing! Then we got home though and bob ditched us to play with his friend under the fence... already hit the teenage years where friends are way cooler then mom and dad lol!!! I'm glad that they got that time in though.. turns out his friend's family is on vacation now for the week so he won't get to play:(
Earlier in the day though, bob had the best play date ever... he got to play iwth another frenchie! We went to the feed supply store to try a new food for the little guy and there was a girl that was so excited and asked if we could wait a minute so she can go get her dog, Cesar! They were so cute jumping all over each other and playing in the goofy frenchie style!!! Bob got so excited that when we left he collapsed in the parking lot while i put the bag of food in the car. he just was too tired to stand lol!!!
It was really the cutest thing I've ever seen and we can't wait for another play date!
Tonight we're having dinner with my sister which will be good. It is good to stay busy, but we only like to do stuff with bob.. so this is really great. Looking forward to things and bob just can't wait for the party:)
Stress? Yeah; probably the reason. I swear these things are going to kill me some day.
I just don't know what to do as far as this current situation goes. I LOVE the birthmom and the entire situation is so ideal. I really think it would be such a great set up for everyone involved and that the child will be so very lucky and so very loved. I am just so used to anything that sounds too good to be true being just that.
I think I may call her today again on my own and ask a few more questions. Not easy ones either unfortunatly. Nothing good ever comes easy though.. that much i'm certain on.
In other news. the back yard is a sheet of ice here!! It is the weirdest thing!!! I got to the top of our hill and then had to slide down! it was really silly!!!! It is fun to watch bob slide around out there. Matt rode his bike around yesterday for bob to chase him and it was just the funniest thing! Then we got home though and bob ditched us to play with his friend under the fence... already hit the teenage years where friends are way cooler then mom and dad lol!!! I'm glad that they got that time in though.. turns out his friend's family is on vacation now for the week so he won't get to play:(
Earlier in the day though, bob had the best play date ever... he got to play iwth another frenchie! We went to the feed supply store to try a new food for the little guy and there was a girl that was so excited and asked if we could wait a minute so she can go get her dog, Cesar! They were so cute jumping all over each other and playing in the goofy frenchie style!!! Bob got so excited that when we left he collapsed in the parking lot while i put the bag of food in the car. he just was too tired to stand lol!!!
It was really the cutest thing I've ever seen and we can't wait for another play date!
Tonight we're having dinner with my sister which will be good. It is good to stay busy, but we only like to do stuff with bob.. so this is really great. Looking forward to things and bob just can't wait for the party:)
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Well this has been a busy week!
Monday- I wrote a post.. just put it up.
Tuesday- I worked but spent the afternoon on the phone with the adoption agencies. Both the original agency we had a placement through and the referral agency. Things are better with them. I spoke with the actual agency and they were so very nice. I feel much better about them after talking to them and whatnot. I was given a situation to consider and after more thought and some budge on their side financially, we decided to have our profile shown. I am happy. We are compromising on the outstanding payments they want for our first failed match. We were told we owe none of it. They don't believe that that is true. So. Here we are out more money that we don't have. The referral agency was supposed to take care of it and straighten things out but they were only able to have the fee's deferred. Not at all helpful really.
It was good to speak directly to the agency though and we were able to come up with a middle ground that is agreeable to both of us.
Our profile was given to the birthmom Tuesday night and she decided that she would like to talk to us and likely go with us Friday. She did not even look at any other couples profiles.
Wednesday- Valentines day! It snowed big time which was fun. It was so fun to see Bob in the snow. It was a nice cozy V-day for all. It is my favorite little holiday:)
Thursday- We were snowed in still and I had a nice relaxing day at home with Bob. I got to work from home and it was just so nice and quiet and cozy. Thursday night Matt drove Bob and I to a doggie V-day Party that was just a blast. It was so exhausting for bob it was hilarious. He made so many friends and had so much fun playing with a bunch of dogs his size. He wore him self out quick and we went home with plans to return next week. It was just more fun then I can put into words for all of us. just so funny and silly really!
Friday- Well; after what felt like forever, we found out that the birthmom chose us. She wanted us to call Friday night. I told the agency how scared I am to commit to her. I just am so afraid to lose money on this situation. If we lose more money we can't afford to keep trying. We just can't pay BM fees for the better part of a year with out a placement and it is scary to think that that could really happen. The agency insists this seems like a great situation and the birthmom seems committed with her decision but we have heard that before and are scared. They suggested we talk to her and make our decision after that. We tried to call but her phone wasn't working and I had a migraine so no call in the end.
Today we were able to talk to the birthmom, I'll call LT. She was incredible. She was just so nice and such a great person. I think she is just amazing. I can't wait to get to know her further.
The call went well. Too well.. M wants to say "no" to the situation all together now actually it went so well. It was almost like it was scripted how good things went. She did not tell her family. She doesn't want them to talk her out of it. She graduates college this spring. She's engaged to a guy that is not the baby's PBD (how they know that though I'm not sure actually.. as I'm typing that seems like something that could be answered, but really.. also seems like something that later could be something I'll look back on as a big flag that screams Lies..) She said she was recently looking online and saw all kinds of reasons couples cannot have children and wanted to help a couple like that some day. Like it is something she wanted to do as volunteer work at some point in her life.. Which is nice and I thank God there are people who think that, but.... is this for real? Just being the typical negative nelly from the northeast... sounds unreal. I'm so scared. We are going to take a few days to decide officially what to do we told the agency. I don't believe there is a cap on what we can spend on her expenses but I will have to double check. We can expect from our past experience that it is about 1200 a month in expenses we can plan for. This PBM knows that we've had failed matches and said she can't imagine how hard that would be for us. I hope that anyone with half a conscience would walk away before scamming us again. But who knows. M is concerned that she was given our profile then told the agency she did not want or need to see any others. She just chose us and that was that. I don't know. I mean eventually we have to trust someone and hope things happen. I just don't know. I wish there was some magic answer to how things will turn out. Unfortunately her due date is pushed out to 3.15 now so we'd be liable for a solid month's worth of fees at minimum if she places or not. I feel so ready to trust her. I want to go down now and hug her so tight. M wants to say no and avoid another scam and heartache, and I feel like we're walking into a trap again. But I think that I will feel that every time now really. so that's our update:(
I'm just so scared. I want to run over and jump up and down with happy tears. We got to see sonogram pictures and I"m beside myself with happy. I can't believe we could have a little girl soon!! I just can't believe it!!! But I can't let myself believe that it will really happen either.
So. that's where things stand.
Why does this have to be so darn hard?? I just don't understand it!
Monday- I wrote a post.. just put it up.
Tuesday- I worked but spent the afternoon on the phone with the adoption agencies. Both the original agency we had a placement through and the referral agency. Things are better with them. I spoke with the actual agency and they were so very nice. I feel much better about them after talking to them and whatnot. I was given a situation to consider and after more thought and some budge on their side financially, we decided to have our profile shown. I am happy. We are compromising on the outstanding payments they want for our first failed match. We were told we owe none of it. They don't believe that that is true. So. Here we are out more money that we don't have. The referral agency was supposed to take care of it and straighten things out but they were only able to have the fee's deferred. Not at all helpful really.
It was good to speak directly to the agency though and we were able to come up with a middle ground that is agreeable to both of us.
Our profile was given to the birthmom Tuesday night and she decided that she would like to talk to us and likely go with us Friday. She did not even look at any other couples profiles.
Wednesday- Valentines day! It snowed big time which was fun. It was so fun to see Bob in the snow. It was a nice cozy V-day for all. It is my favorite little holiday:)
Thursday- We were snowed in still and I had a nice relaxing day at home with Bob. I got to work from home and it was just so nice and quiet and cozy. Thursday night Matt drove Bob and I to a doggie V-day Party that was just a blast. It was so exhausting for bob it was hilarious. He made so many friends and had so much fun playing with a bunch of dogs his size. He wore him self out quick and we went home with plans to return next week. It was just more fun then I can put into words for all of us. just so funny and silly really!
Friday- Well; after what felt like forever, we found out that the birthmom chose us. She wanted us to call Friday night. I told the agency how scared I am to commit to her. I just am so afraid to lose money on this situation. If we lose more money we can't afford to keep trying. We just can't pay BM fees for the better part of a year with out a placement and it is scary to think that that could really happen. The agency insists this seems like a great situation and the birthmom seems committed with her decision but we have heard that before and are scared. They suggested we talk to her and make our decision after that. We tried to call but her phone wasn't working and I had a migraine so no call in the end.
Today we were able to talk to the birthmom, I'll call LT. She was incredible. She was just so nice and such a great person. I think she is just amazing. I can't wait to get to know her further.
The call went well. Too well.. M wants to say "no" to the situation all together now actually it went so well. It was almost like it was scripted how good things went. She did not tell her family. She doesn't want them to talk her out of it. She graduates college this spring. She's engaged to a guy that is not the baby's PBD (how they know that though I'm not sure actually.. as I'm typing that seems like something that could be answered, but really.. also seems like something that later could be something I'll look back on as a big flag that screams Lies..) She said she was recently looking online and saw all kinds of reasons couples cannot have children and wanted to help a couple like that some day. Like it is something she wanted to do as volunteer work at some point in her life.. Which is nice and I thank God there are people who think that, but.... is this for real? Just being the typical negative nelly from the northeast... sounds unreal. I'm so scared. We are going to take a few days to decide officially what to do we told the agency. I don't believe there is a cap on what we can spend on her expenses but I will have to double check. We can expect from our past experience that it is about 1200 a month in expenses we can plan for. This PBM knows that we've had failed matches and said she can't imagine how hard that would be for us. I hope that anyone with half a conscience would walk away before scamming us again. But who knows. M is concerned that she was given our profile then told the agency she did not want or need to see any others. She just chose us and that was that. I don't know. I mean eventually we have to trust someone and hope things happen. I just don't know. I wish there was some magic answer to how things will turn out. Unfortunately her due date is pushed out to 3.15 now so we'd be liable for a solid month's worth of fees at minimum if she places or not. I feel so ready to trust her. I want to go down now and hug her so tight. M wants to say no and avoid another scam and heartache, and I feel like we're walking into a trap again. But I think that I will feel that every time now really. so that's our update:(
I'm just so scared. I want to run over and jump up and down with happy tears. We got to see sonogram pictures and I"m beside myself with happy. I can't believe we could have a little girl soon!! I just can't believe it!!! But I can't let myself believe that it will really happen either.
So. that's where things stand.
Why does this have to be so darn hard?? I just don't understand it!
Monday, February 12, 2007
waiting
well; we were not chosen. We found out that a birth mom chose someone else. I know that this probably isn't the first one that has chosen someone else over us, but it's the first we know of really.. all the others chose us.. but then chose not to place. It is just getting so crazy.. I mean will we ever become parents?? I cannot imagine doing this again every time we are ready for another child.. this will certainly deter us from a large family!!!
Hopefully we are going to be shown to another birth mom again soon. There are two others that are kind of in the picture as options but not real strong ones. I really don't see either of them placing in the end.
I got a lead from a friend of the family to call too.. But I'm just dragging my feet stupidly. I feel like at this point none of this will result in a placement so why bother.. I know that's a terrible attitude.. but I just feel like realistically, the chance of anyone having a lead that will come to anything is impossible. Friends and family just don't really understand how the process works and just how draining it is on the mind and wallet... I mean they know it is hard on both, but have no idea that it is hard to the point of impossibility!!!
Okay; I am going to try to make the call now actually. Not sure if she or he will be home even right now but I've been waiting a week now.. who knows.. maybe this will be the one??
I just hope whatever happens happens quickly. I cannot believe that we're nearing spring already and still no baby.. no closer to one the we had been this time last year even. I just can't stand that.
Ok; Line is busy.
I will have to try again later.
On a happier note we had a great weekend with our puppy. We had lots of play time with him and spoiled him rotten with specialty treats. He is always spoiled but this weekend was really something else! He is so cute and so deserving. He has been so good all weekend and today he's been beyond good and special. I hate that tomorrow he'll be home alone all day. He just hates to be alone.. he's so cute and friendly:)
okay; I'm going to call back again and then get ready to take him for a walk:)
allie
Hopefully we are going to be shown to another birth mom again soon. There are two others that are kind of in the picture as options but not real strong ones. I really don't see either of them placing in the end.
I got a lead from a friend of the family to call too.. But I'm just dragging my feet stupidly. I feel like at this point none of this will result in a placement so why bother.. I know that's a terrible attitude.. but I just feel like realistically, the chance of anyone having a lead that will come to anything is impossible. Friends and family just don't really understand how the process works and just how draining it is on the mind and wallet... I mean they know it is hard on both, but have no idea that it is hard to the point of impossibility!!!
Okay; I am going to try to make the call now actually. Not sure if she or he will be home even right now but I've been waiting a week now.. who knows.. maybe this will be the one??
I just hope whatever happens happens quickly. I cannot believe that we're nearing spring already and still no baby.. no closer to one the we had been this time last year even. I just can't stand that.
Ok; Line is busy.
I will have to try again later.
On a happier note we had a great weekend with our puppy. We had lots of play time with him and spoiled him rotten with specialty treats. He is always spoiled but this weekend was really something else! He is so cute and so deserving. He has been so good all weekend and today he's been beyond good and special. I hate that tomorrow he'll be home alone all day. He just hates to be alone.. he's so cute and friendly:)
okay; I'm going to call back again and then get ready to take him for a walk:)
allie
Sunday, February 11, 2007
sunday
So i am not as good at making regular posts here as I had hoped I would be.. i guess it's to be expected though.. I'm getting lazy!!!
Anyhow! It is Sunday.. which means work week starts in just hours. yuck. I need a few weeks off so badly.. who doesnt though huh? I have so much house work to be doing but feel like all I really can and want and ned to do is to just soak up as much R&R as I can lately. And you know what, I am lucky. I have a husband that agrees with me. I have had the nicest weekend once again. Between spending time with him and my family and neighbors and my cute cute dog, things are good. We have been able to focus on this being Bob's birthday weekned so it was nice to have a purpose to the weekend.. a fun happy exciting one. I wish we had more puppies to celebrate birthdays for lol.. it has just brought a nice celebratory feeling to the house .. something we have been waiting for for so darn long now. Its two years ago this time of year that i really thought I would be bringing home a cake for my husband to celebrate. It was going to say "congratulations dad" and that was how i wanted to tell him we are pregnant. It was going to be from coldstone creamery, his favorite. I had been saving coupons for them every week and month. I can't beleive i still have no cake and no baby.
Nothing new to report here. It has been a long long week really. I was waiting so excitedly for our open house at DCF and then the day came and I got sick to my stomach. I threw up right up til it was time to go. Halfway through the meeting i felt totally better.. stress? Probably.
THings were great there. I love the people we met there and think so much of the system now that I heard them speak. SUch a caring and loving operation with their number one focus on buliding families for children. I am so happy and impressed.
But still waiting.
Nothing from the private agencies still. Go figure. I am so unimpressed and sad there. It just feels like more and more they are doing less and less. I have no idea what to say or do on that front. I just don't. I really still hope and pray for them to do right by us so that once i have a placement be it through them or through DCF i can sit back and smile. Rather than have to look into filing complaints with the BBB and lawyers. I hope that in the end i am proven wrong and the private agencies do give us the family that we so want (and have worked hard for and have put so much time tears and money into).
I wish we could look into forien adoption. More and more that looks like just what we want and need. Unfortunatly because the agency in TX will not refund the money we paid them, we just can't afford to do that. How does God expect us to be able to find a child for us and bring one into our homes with these circumstances? I just cannot understand it. We have a warm and loving home and family here waiting. There are children out there waiting for just that. But becuase we have only limited funds.. which are.. ok WERE actually pretty large, we can't do that. I just dont understand. I mean we have about twenty thousand tied up in this one agency now and we're stuck!!! What are we supposed to do?! It is just so unfair. to us and to our some day child. For so many reasons. I am so frustrated.
Okay; I am done complaining about this same subject over and over.
Thank goodness for the little guy snoring at my feet right now.
He has had such a fun day. He rested up all morning and then had his friend over for some birthday treats before they went for a walk and then did some playing in the yard. He is exhausted now!!! it is so darn cute; Bob is 20 pounds, and his buddy is like 150 pounds.. and neither of htem seems to notice that lol.. it is so cute to see them playing and he's so lucky to have such a patient buddy to play with.. Bob is a very lucky little boy:)
Okay; I'm going to do some laundry now.. fun never ends for either of us lol:)
allie
Anyhow! It is Sunday.. which means work week starts in just hours. yuck. I need a few weeks off so badly.. who doesnt though huh? I have so much house work to be doing but feel like all I really can and want and ned to do is to just soak up as much R&R as I can lately. And you know what, I am lucky. I have a husband that agrees with me. I have had the nicest weekend once again. Between spending time with him and my family and neighbors and my cute cute dog, things are good. We have been able to focus on this being Bob's birthday weekned so it was nice to have a purpose to the weekend.. a fun happy exciting one. I wish we had more puppies to celebrate birthdays for lol.. it has just brought a nice celebratory feeling to the house .. something we have been waiting for for so darn long now. Its two years ago this time of year that i really thought I would be bringing home a cake for my husband to celebrate. It was going to say "congratulations dad" and that was how i wanted to tell him we are pregnant. It was going to be from coldstone creamery, his favorite. I had been saving coupons for them every week and month. I can't beleive i still have no cake and no baby.
Nothing new to report here. It has been a long long week really. I was waiting so excitedly for our open house at DCF and then the day came and I got sick to my stomach. I threw up right up til it was time to go. Halfway through the meeting i felt totally better.. stress? Probably.
THings were great there. I love the people we met there and think so much of the system now that I heard them speak. SUch a caring and loving operation with their number one focus on buliding families for children. I am so happy and impressed.
But still waiting.
Nothing from the private agencies still. Go figure. I am so unimpressed and sad there. It just feels like more and more they are doing less and less. I have no idea what to say or do on that front. I just don't. I really still hope and pray for them to do right by us so that once i have a placement be it through them or through DCF i can sit back and smile. Rather than have to look into filing complaints with the BBB and lawyers. I hope that in the end i am proven wrong and the private agencies do give us the family that we so want (and have worked hard for and have put so much time tears and money into).
I wish we could look into forien adoption. More and more that looks like just what we want and need. Unfortunatly because the agency in TX will not refund the money we paid them, we just can't afford to do that. How does God expect us to be able to find a child for us and bring one into our homes with these circumstances? I just cannot understand it. We have a warm and loving home and family here waiting. There are children out there waiting for just that. But becuase we have only limited funds.. which are.. ok WERE actually pretty large, we can't do that. I just dont understand. I mean we have about twenty thousand tied up in this one agency now and we're stuck!!! What are we supposed to do?! It is just so unfair. to us and to our some day child. For so many reasons. I am so frustrated.
Okay; I am done complaining about this same subject over and over.
Thank goodness for the little guy snoring at my feet right now.
He has had such a fun day. He rested up all morning and then had his friend over for some birthday treats before they went for a walk and then did some playing in the yard. He is exhausted now!!! it is so darn cute; Bob is 20 pounds, and his buddy is like 150 pounds.. and neither of htem seems to notice that lol.. it is so cute to see them playing and he's so lucky to have such a patient buddy to play with.. Bob is a very lucky little boy:)
Okay; I'm going to do some laundry now.. fun never ends for either of us lol:)
allie
mixed emotions..
Well! I am getting very excited. I have done the very best I can to put the nerves and frustration away that came last week from our adoption debacle.. that's kind of what this has become...
Thursday we go to an open house at our state's department of children and families! I'm so excited to meet the people there and learn more about adopting through the state. I know that this won't be easy or lacking in stress but it has to be better then sitting around just waiting right?.. I hope???
We were told about two possible situations yesterday, neither of which feels quite right. I am certainly gun-shy after our first "match" and failure and all the money and heartache lost. I'm scared to death to trust that agency (or anyone for that matter) anymore. I just don't know what is right anymore and have lost faith in the good in people... something I'd only recently thought was a real thing anyhow... now I feel like I was right all along to not trust..
So who knows.. I won't get into the details of the situations yet since you never know how they turn out clearly, but one of them I am not sure the PBM is really ready to place and I don't want her to have regrets ever so she needs to decide.. and the baby is already four months old. I'm not sure what to say on that. Sounds fine but at the same time by the time this is all set should she decide to place, the child will be about the same age as any we could get from a foreign adoption which I have to think would have been more cut and dry then this trip's been for us. We chose domestic to experience every last second of our first child.
The other situation makes me uncomfortable. I feel like the agency may be looking for more money from us on this one then is really truly needed and I'm over sensitive to that right now. And rightfully so (in everyone's opinion but our agency and referral agency..). I am sad that this will look like us turning down a possible placement because the baby is full AA in race, but that's not the case. It is just discomfort with the entire situation at this time. We are open to full AA children, but I think we will only do it through our state's program now that we are looking to work with them. It is almost certain we will get a placement that way with some patience and with no further expenses incurred.. so I'll hold off.
On a lighter note, my four legged baby turns one this Friday!!! I cannot believe he is one year already!!!! He has matured so much in the last year it is incredible but at the same time he has such a baby like love-ability (lol.. sorry.. I tend to make up words when needed...) that I just want to keep him tucked under my arm or snoring in my lap at all times! So I'll be making him an extra batch of ice cream for sure this weekend and maybe looking up cake recipes too.. or going to the gourmet dog bakery near us to see what they have.. oh so many choices!!! I just gave him a ton of new toys last weekend so there is nothing he really needs... hmmm... oh well.. a little something to celebrate is just what we need!! He is really the light of our life and I want to be sure he knows how much we appreciate and adore him!!!!
Okay, I know I sound absurd lol... but I just cannot help it.. he is so special in ways I'm not really convinced that all dogs are... although he's my first dog so maybe they are? My husband has had a few growing up and swears that this one is like no other he's ever had.. the love and understanding passed between us and him is just so special.
Okay... that's it for now:)
allie
Thursday we go to an open house at our state's department of children and families! I'm so excited to meet the people there and learn more about adopting through the state. I know that this won't be easy or lacking in stress but it has to be better then sitting around just waiting right?.. I hope???
We were told about two possible situations yesterday, neither of which feels quite right. I am certainly gun-shy after our first "match" and failure and all the money and heartache lost. I'm scared to death to trust that agency (or anyone for that matter) anymore. I just don't know what is right anymore and have lost faith in the good in people... something I'd only recently thought was a real thing anyhow... now I feel like I was right all along to not trust..
So who knows.. I won't get into the details of the situations yet since you never know how they turn out clearly, but one of them I am not sure the PBM is really ready to place and I don't want her to have regrets ever so she needs to decide.. and the baby is already four months old. I'm not sure what to say on that. Sounds fine but at the same time by the time this is all set should she decide to place, the child will be about the same age as any we could get from a foreign adoption which I have to think would have been more cut and dry then this trip's been for us. We chose domestic to experience every last second of our first child.
The other situation makes me uncomfortable. I feel like the agency may be looking for more money from us on this one then is really truly needed and I'm over sensitive to that right now. And rightfully so (in everyone's opinion but our agency and referral agency..). I am sad that this will look like us turning down a possible placement because the baby is full AA in race, but that's not the case. It is just discomfort with the entire situation at this time. We are open to full AA children, but I think we will only do it through our state's program now that we are looking to work with them. It is almost certain we will get a placement that way with some patience and with no further expenses incurred.. so I'll hold off.
On a lighter note, my four legged baby turns one this Friday!!! I cannot believe he is one year already!!!! He has matured so much in the last year it is incredible but at the same time he has such a baby like love-ability (lol.. sorry.. I tend to make up words when needed...) that I just want to keep him tucked under my arm or snoring in my lap at all times! So I'll be making him an extra batch of ice cream for sure this weekend and maybe looking up cake recipes too.. or going to the gourmet dog bakery near us to see what they have.. oh so many choices!!! I just gave him a ton of new toys last weekend so there is nothing he really needs... hmmm... oh well.. a little something to celebrate is just what we need!! He is really the light of our life and I want to be sure he knows how much we appreciate and adore him!!!!
Okay, I know I sound absurd lol... but I just cannot help it.. he is so special in ways I'm not really convinced that all dogs are... although he's my first dog so maybe they are? My husband has had a few growing up and swears that this one is like no other he's ever had.. the love and understanding passed between us and him is just so special.
Okay... that's it for now:)
allie
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