waiting

well; we were not chosen. We found out that a birth mom chose someone else. I know that this probably isn't the first one that has chosen someone else over us, but it's the first we know of really.. all the others chose us.. but then chose not to place. It is just getting so crazy.. I mean will we ever become parents?? I cannot imagine doing this again every time we are ready for another child.. this will certainly deter us from a large family!!!
Hopefully we are going to be shown to another birth mom again soon. There are two others that are kind of in the picture as options but not real strong ones. I really don't see either of them placing in the end.
I got a lead from a friend of the family to call too.. But I'm just dragging my feet stupidly. I feel like at this point none of this will result in a placement so why bother.. I know that's a terrible attitude.. but I just feel like realistically, the chance of anyone having a lead that will come to anything is impossible. Friends and family just don't really understand how the process works and just how draining it is on the mind and wallet... I mean they know it is hard on both, but have no idea that it is hard to the point of impossibility!!!
Okay; I am going to try to make the call now actually. Not sure if she or he will be home even right now but I've been waiting a week now.. who knows.. maybe this will be the one??
I just hope whatever happens happens quickly. I cannot believe that we're nearing spring already and still no baby.. no closer to one the we had been this time last year even. I just can't stand that.

Ok; Line is busy.
I will have to try again later.
On a happier note we had a great weekend with our puppy. We had lots of play time with him and spoiled him rotten with specialty treats. He is always spoiled but this weekend was really something else! He is so cute and so deserving. He has been so good all weekend and today he's been beyond good and special. I hate that tomorrow he'll be home alone all day. He just hates to be alone.. he's so cute and friendly:)
okay; I'm going to call back again and then get ready to take him for a walk:)
allie